Post Separation/Co-Parenting Counseling

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BETCY ALEY counseling

Post Separation/Co-Parenting Counseling and Parenting Coordination

Navigating life after separation can be challenging, especially when children are involved. My post-separation and co-parenting counseling services provide a supportive space to help parents or individuals establish healthy communication, set boundaries, and prioritize their children’s well-being. Whether dealing with high-conflict dynamics or simply seeking guidance in creating a stable co-parenting plan, I offer strategies to reduce tension and foster cooperation. My goal is to help parents develop skills that promote a positive environment for their children while ensuring their own emotional health. Through compassionate guidance, I support families in building a foundation for a peaceful and structured co-parenting journey.

For Court- Mandated Clients in Florida

I require a signed ORDER OF REFERRAL TO PARENTING COORDINATOR prior to engaging in services.

Please find it here https://www.flcourts.gov/content/download/686011/file_pdf/984a.pdf

Skip ahead to the section on parenting coordination

What is Co-parenting counseling ?

Co-parenting counseling is a form of therapy designed to help divorced or separated parents work together more effectively to raise their children, despite any personal conflicts or challenges. The goal is to improve communication, reduce tension, and create a more cooperative and supportive environment for the children, even if the parents are no longer together. The primary aim of co-parenting counseling is to put the children’s well-being first by teaching parents how to navigate their relationship in a way that minimizes harm to the children and supports a healthy post-divorce family dynamic.

Key aspects of co-parenting counseling include:

1. Improving Communication: The therapist helps parents learn how to communicate more effectively, focusing on calm, respectful discussions that center on the children needs rather than personal grievances.

2. Managing Conflict: Co-parenting counseling helps parents find ways to minimize conflict and resolve disagreements in a constructive manner. This includes techniques for staying calm and avoiding escalation during difficult interactions.

3. Setting Boundaries: Establishing clear and healthy boundaries is crucial for co-parenting. A counselor helps parents create boundaries that protect their own emotional well-being while also ensuring a stable environment for their children.

4. Reducing Emotional Stress: Co-parenting counseling can help parents manage the emotional toll of the divorce or separation, reducing stress and anxiety that may affect their ability to parent effectively.

Sometimes Co-parenting Counseling doesn’t work. It’s important to remember that it only takes one personality disordered or highly enmeshed individual to create a high conflict divorce or separation.

What is a High-Conflict Divorce?

Are you going through a divorce where conflict never seems to end? Are you left confused and stuck on how to move forward? Does it seem near impossible to manage your life and the lives of your shared children? You may be in a high conflict divorce.

A high-conflict divorce refers to a separation where the emotional and legal disputes between the spouses are intense, ongoing, and often unresolved. In these types of divorces, the individuals involved have difficulty communicating or reaching agreements, leading to frequent conflicts and escalated tension. These conflicts can involve disputes over child custody, finances, visitation schedules, and other important issues.

High-conflict divorces often include:

1. Escalating legal battles: Repeated court appearances, custody disputes, and disagreementsthat seem unresolvable.

2. Emotional volatility: Strong emotions such as anger, resentment, or revenge dominate interactions, which can affect the ability to make rational decisions.

3. Manipulation: One or both parties may engage in tactics like bad-mouthing the other parent, making false allegations, or trying to manipulate the children to take sides.

4. Difficulty in communication: Effective, calm communication is almost impossible due to the high levels of hostility, and both parties might engage in negative behaviors like sending aggressive messages or making threats.

In high-conflict divorces, both spouses often struggle to co-parent effectively, and the children may be caught in the middle, feeling the stress and pressure of their parents conflict. These types of divorces are often prolonged, stressful, and emotionally exhausting for everyone involved.

You Need Effective Strategies to Navigate Your High-Conflict Divorce :

Attempting to reason with someone who isn’t open to reason is like trying to fix a car with a hammer – it’s just the wrong approach. You need to accept that your ex may never fully move on, and “conscious co-parenting” may not be realistic, no matter what others may suggest. As your therapist, my role is to guide you through understanding your unique situation and help you develop strategies to handle your high-conflict divorce. These strategies include:

1. Managing your own emotional responses

2. Creating a productive communication style

3. Setting and enforcing clear boundaries

4. Embracing parallel parenting

5. Minimizing contact

6. Ensuring your children feel safe and secure

What is Parenting Coordination?

Parenting Coordination is a process designed to help high-conflict parents resolve disputes regarding the care and custody of their children without returning to court. This process is often used when parents are unable to effectively communicate and make decisions about parenting matters, such as visitation schedules, decision-making, or other aspects of co-parenting.

What is a Qualified Parenting Coordinator?

A Parenting Coordinator (PC) is a trained professional who works with parents to facilitate communication, reduce conflict, and provide guidance in making decisions in the best interest of the child. Parenting coordinators are often appointed by the court, though parents can also voluntarily agree to use one.

Key Aspects of Parenting Coordination in Florida include:

1. Conflict Resolution: The coordinator helps parents resolve disputes and disagreements in a structured and neutral environment, often focusing on resolving issues related to the children.

2. Facilitating Communication: A Parenting Coordinator helps parents communicate more effectively, especially in high-conflict situations where direct communication is challenging.

3. Enforcing Court Orders: If there are existing court orders or parenting plans, the coordinator can help ensure that both parents are complying with them, and they may intervene if the orders are violated.

4. Decision-Making Assistance: In cases where parents are unable to make joint decisions about their child’s upbringing, the Parenting Coordinator may assist in making those decisions, ensuring the child best interests are the primary focus.

5. Guidance and Recommendations: The Parenting Coordinator can provide guidance and suggestions on parenting practices, child development, and how to handle specific situations.

6. Cost-Effective Alternative to Court: Parenting coordination is intended to be a less expensive, more efficient way of resolving parenting disputes compared to going back to court, which can be time-consuming and costly.

Role of a Parenting Coordinator:

A Parenting Coordinator in Florida has limited authority in that they do not make final decisions or issue rulings like a judge. Instead, their role is to help guide parents toward mutually agreeable solutions. However, if parents cannot reach an agreement, the Parenting Coordinator may make recommendations to the court. It’s a tool that works well for parents who have ongoing, high-conflict issues and need professional help to manage those dynamics. The goal is always to put the child’s welfare first and reduce the overall tension and conflict between parents.

A Qualified Parenting Coordinator is Not:

1. Not a Judge: A Parenting Coordinator does not have the authority to make legal rulings or modify court orders. They cannot make decisions on custody or visitation that would override a judges orders. Their role is to help parents work through issues and make decisions that are in the best interest of the child, but they do not have the final legal say.

2. Not a Custody Evaluator: A Parenting Coordinator is not responsible for conducting custody evaluations or making formal recommendations for custody arrangements. They do not perform the in-depth assessments that a court-appointed custody evaluator might do.

3. Not Acting as a Therapist or Counselor: While a Parenting Coordinator may have a background in mental health, they are not acting as a therapist for the parents or children. Their role is focused on helping parents manage their co-parenting relationship, not providing emotional or psychological therapy. They are not there to treat mental health issues or perform psychotherapy.

4. Not a Mediator: A Parenting Coordinator is not a mediator in the traditional sense. While they help resolve disputes, they don’t facilitate the kind of negotiation and compromise that a mediator would, nor do they have the authority to create legally binding agreements like a mediator might in certain situations.

5. Not a Reunification Specialist: A Parenting Coordinator is not responsible for reunifying parents with children after estrangement or conflict. They can assist with co-parenting issues, but if there parental alienation or estrangement, they do not conduct reunification therapy.

6. Not a Decision-Maker for All Family Issues: While a Parenting Coordinator helps resolve parenting-related disputes, they do not have the authority to make decisions about non-parenting issues, such as financial matters or issues unrelated to the child’s well-being.

7. Not a Substitute for Legal Counsel: A Parenting Coordinator does not provide legal advice or represent one parent over the other. If legal issues arise, parents should seek advice from their attorneys.

The role of a Parenting Coordinator is focused on reducing conflict, improving communication, and ensuring the best interests of the child in situations where high-conflict parents are unable to resolve issues on their own. They act as a neutral third party, not as a decision-maker or therapist

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Specializing

Complex Trauma & Dissociation (Certified by ISSTD)
Affair Recovery and Betrayal Trauma
Life After Narcissistic & Antisocial Abuse
Co-Parenting & Post-Separation Counseling
Parenting Coordination – Serving Collier, Lee, Charlotte, Glades, Hendry, Sarasota, Manatee & Desoto Counties

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